Daddy’s Forbidden Fuck
In fact growing up he resented me looking so much like his sister, whom he hated. There has always been a distance. I can’t remember him ever telling me he loved me, the only time he held my hand was when required, to cross a road perhaps. No spontaneous affection or hugs. I don’t say all this to garner any pity or sympathy but hopefully to go some way to explain my naughty not nice background.
Naughty not Nice: Embracing the Thrill
But eventually I’ll have my own children. They’ll use the term ‘Daddy’. Yes, they will and I’ll relish their innocence and their association with affection from someone who will love unconditionally. To be a proper parent, father. They will have that also from me a slutty daddy’s girl.
For me however I see it as too late and I am already screwed up. A therapist’s dream? Probably. Daddy issues I mean how boring. But in no way am I blaming my past for my interest in kink and BDSM. I think that is somewhat innate. Part of who I am in fact there is a genetic history of kink in our family. My maternal Grandmother was naughty not nice, she was also a Dominatrix. I found her flogger and handcuffs at 10 years old.
There are a myriad of reasons why I need to be in control of my own pleasure. Some from childhood, other relationships, some which I don’t really want to think about.
Beyond Unapologetic: Naughty not Nice
But to submit as how I see a ‘proper’ submissive does, to relinquish all control, the submit themselves to giving up sexual pleasure to the control of the Dom/me or Top, to be humiliated and used and denied and tormented… that would certainly break me. I feel upset even thinking about it. It’s just not me.
I could never be just someone’s toy, an object. If I give myself sexually I give myself emotionally these days, anyway. It’s all linked together. To give myself sexually and to be spurned, a joke, rejected and denied no. Not going to happen.
At this point I can hear the submissives crying, “but, it isn’t like that, I am very loved and I get fulfillment from X, Y or Z.” Well, I completely agree. You do. That’s how you are and that’s what you enjoy, what you need.
But this post is about me and on my blog so you will hopefully excuse me if I word things from my personal point of view. There are probably countless people who think that Daddy/little girl and age play is entirely disgusting and shouldn’t exist and I am a worse person for feeling fulfilment from it.
Ditch Nice, Embrace Naughty
Well, that’s sometimes how I feel about the Gorean lifestyle in my head, but I don’t insult members of that lifestyle for whom it is their chosen path to satisfaction and pleasure.
I don’t really know where this post was headed. After reading an autobiographical account of a submissive. However, I did want to get these thoughts out of my head. I feel like it really helped to further clarify in my mind who and what I am. I am not a power freak, but I do need to be in control of my own pleasure and destiny. Even in control of how I give up control, temporarily.
I am not even the sort of Dominant that really needs to be in control of anyone else. Yes, it is fun and they get something from it as their need. But I do not need to control others in order to live my life. It’s a fun addition.
Jordyn 1-888-252-0756
