I must admit that I am sometimes embarrassed about how much I enjoy having sex with older men or how often I think about having sex with older men.  Why?  Well, think about it: How many times have you heard people bring up how they don’t want to think of their parents having sex? You know the response I mean, “yuck, I don’t want to think about that,” but the thing is…  I do want to think about that.  So, everyone else makes a face when the subject of their dad having sex comes up, and I…  Well, I usually smile and sip my drink.  What else can I do?  Sometimes – a girl could get a complex.

I was young when I felt the desire to have sex with older men…

I guess I was thinking about having sex with older men since I was…Well, when I was young.  I remember rubbing myself against my pillow, or reaching into my nighty, right behind the thin white wall.  Of course, I didn’t know what an orgasm was back then, of course, and I didn’t even know what they were doing in there, but I remember it still felt nice to touch and listen.  I knew they were just a few feet from me, and that made me scared and excited.  I liked how it made me smell afterward when I settled down to sleep, still close to them. It wasn’t long before I knew every step of their process like the back of my hand (no pun intended).

The magic words…

I remember my dad would always start by saying something like, “my God, you are the most beautiful girl,” and she kinda was.  I guess I never really thought about it before, but my mom was a lot younger than my dad.  Do you think something like having sex with older men could be in my genes? That would be funny.  Oh!  Do you know what else is funny?  Years later, when I met Roger, the first older man I had sex with, guess what he said?  When he turned around and saw me with my clothes off the first time on the bed, he said, “my God, you are the most beautiful girl,” and I just smiled because I kinda am.

Out of step…

So, I guess I go through life with a secret, but I wish I could talk about it more.  Girls like to talk about sex, but I still feel like I can’t talk about the kind of sex I like.  Do you know?  I mean… sometimes I can’t help but say something, but then I always have to play it off because I get embarrassed.  Like, I just went for sushi with Tamara and her sister, who was home on break.  Anyway, the guy who made our rainbow roll had to be like 60.  I just opened my mouth and said, “do you ever think about having sex with older men,” and Tamara was like, “ew.”  So, I tried to smile and change the subject and took a sip of my drink, but her sister laughed, and when I saw the look in her eye, I knew she understood.

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