I Was Naughty the Night Before Christmas
‘Twas the night before Christmas and I wanted to scream,
Nothing was stirring, but I could still dream.
I’d bought naughty lingerie in every hue,
In hopes that my fantasies soon would come true.
Our son couldn’t make it home, at least that’s what he said,
So visions of romance danced through my head.
But my hubby was snoring, thinking nothing amiss,
And had just rolled over after a brotherly kiss.
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I jumped out of bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I quickly flew,
Cursing a blue streak when I tripped on his shoe.
The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow
Gave the luster of mid-day to objects below.
When what should appear to my sleepy eyes,
But a miniature sleigh, pulled by eight sexy guys.
With a driver so gorgeous I had to pinch myself,
To make certain it wasn’t that damn, fat, jolly old elf.
More rapidly than eagles his team of hunks came,
And he shouted and laughed as he called them by name.
“Now, Devin! Now, Patrick! Now, Kevin and Jason!
On, Jordan! On Garret! On, Jeffery and Mason!
To the top of the porch! To the top of the wall,
Or I’ll redden your bottoms, should one of you fall!”
As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky.
So up to the house top the Chippendale dancers flew,
With a sleigh full of sex toys, my fantasy comes true.
And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof,
The prancing and dancing of each sexy little hoof.
As I drew in my head and was checking my hair,
Through the door walked the answer, to my every prayer.
From his head to his toes, in black he was dressed,
A naughty hot bad-boy, mmmmm I was impressed.
A bundle of joys he had flung on his back,
And he looked deliciously menacing opening his pack.
His smoldering eyes, made me weak in the knees,
This was one handsome rogue I wanted to please.
His sensuous lips promised heavenly bliss,
For the lucky woman he granted a kiss.
His tight fittin’ jeans accented a mouth-watering bulge,
A tempting feast in which I longed to indulge.
He had powerful arms and his torso was cut,
Long legs, narrow waist and a really cute butt.
He was lean, mean and fit, perfect in every way
And oh God I wanted him without further delay.
He looked me up an’ down, obviously liking what he saw,
Which set me atremble, I was dumbstruck with awe.
With a sigh I melted, a wanton slave to his fire,
Consumed by my lust, overwhelmed by desire.
“Come with me. Come!” He growled into my ear.
“Yesssss!” I hissed breathlessly, knowing no fear.
He helped me into his sleigh shouting, “men let’s fly!”
As I rested my cheek on his muscular thigh.
Freeing my present, I purred with delight,
“Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!”
Have a wonderfully delicious Holiday!
