Press 1 for English, Press 2 for Phone Sex!
We have all had it happen right? You have a bill due, or need to ask a question about an account of yours and as always you have to call in and sit on hold forever listening to some of the worst elevator music in the history of ALL TIME! I recently had this happen. I had to call in about a warranty question about my truck. Then we hear the GAWD AWFUL automated voice, ( why can’t he or she ever sound sexy like phone sex?) Press 1 for English.
Then it made my wheels start turning. Press 1 for English, press 2 for PHONE SEX! Mmmmm, now wouldn’t that be a hot idea? I remembered my manager had also said or mentioned something a while back about this very same idea. So, naturally Im bold and I wanted to express this idea to the very 1st person I talked with. I was already on hold to talk about some parts for my truck, and I could only pray that the person on the other end was batting for TEAM PENIS.
“Hi this is Greg, what can I do to help you today?”
I smiled my ever so wicked smile. “Hi Greg, My name’s Anna and I recently purchased blah blah blah”
Greg was very helpful in getting my warranty settled and my part fixed. At the end of our conversation ” It was so nice to speak with you Anna, I’m so glad I was able to handle and help you with your problem today. Is there ANYTHING else I can do for you?”
” Wellllll, you know what Greg, actually there is. I wanted you to know that I hate your automated system, I think it sounds absolutely mundane and boring. Now I understand the need for automated systems because of high call volumes at peak times, but the voice that you have for your’s sounds like a very close relative of R2D2. So here’s my suggestion, I say you keep your “Press 1 for English”, and then I say you have another voice, a sexier voice offer a “Press 2 for Phone sex”, that way you will have clients and customers both HAPPY and relaxed when they speak with you, Besides it’s so much better than that elevator music.”
“You’re serious Miss Angel?” He said. ” Of course, I myself happen to be a very proud Phone sex operator, would you like to hear a little sample?”
“Well, HELL YEAH!” Said a much more excited Greg
I then proceeded, ” Thank you for calling XXXXXXX, I’m Anna and I’m here to fill your ears with sexy unadulterated filth until you can be promptly connected with one of our Outstanding customer service reps, what get’s your MOTOR running baby? A hot blow job from one of our specialized air filters? or maybe I could interest you in a long hot sloppy oil change, guaranteed to be slick wet and filled to the brim? Do you need a set of plugs baby, one for each of My, oops *giggle* I mean your, hot little holes? Whatever your need or desire. I will be glad to service and satisfy you in any way shape or form, always remember press 1 for English, and press 2 for phone sex”
By The time Greg and I got off the phone. I had a free extended warranty, and an upgrade to rush delivery, and a Job offer!
LOL, which of course I declined, because PSK fucking rocks!!!
Call your favorite phone sex slut TODAY
and if you don’t have one- Give me a TRY!
PhoneSex!
