Do you have a secret porn obsession?
Last night my male roommate confessed what he considered his “secret porn obsession” to me. As if I could possibly judge him! I watch more porn every week than most men. And usually, I watch it with my callers. How much porn do you watch? Do you do it covertly, making sure no one knows? Do you clear your search history afterward?
My first memory of watching porn was in the advent of AOL, probably about 1998. The magical portals to anywhere that giant, now “obsolete” seeming desktop monitor opened up seemed endless. Filled with exciting possibilities. And of course, I learned how to utilize this titillating new technology at my fingertips much faster than my dad.
I remember one afternoon, a few weeks after I’d started experimenting with the toolbar at the top of those now archaic-ish windows, I learned how to “View History.” So, what started as an innocuous, innocently curious click soon hyperlinked me to my first porn video. Maybe if the history link had said something like “PORN!” I wouldn’t have clicked. I think I did know what that was, even at 8. But it just said “Linda’s Foot Fetish Lounge.” What could that be? I had to find out.
Only years later did I realize what that “thing” rubbing up against the lady’s disembodied foot was. I didn’t have any brothers. I was raised Catholic. Genuinely bewildered and confused at seeing my first hard, giant cock, I watched my dad’s secret porn obsession, rapt. Then again, I’ve never talked about it with him. Maybe his pet fetish is something else entirely if he even has one. I’d rather not know.
Just watching some porn under a “niche interest” genre doesn’t make you a set-in-stone “fetishist.”
Being sexually adventurous is something I think EVERYONE should have the privilege of doing. Exploring the possibilities of your desire is something I want to do together. I just love it when a new client calls to divulge something he can’t to anyone else. Not his therapist, not his priest, not even his close friends or drinking buddies. Maybe knowing a “secret” is even more fun than having one? I want to know yours. And I want to tell you mine.
Secret porn obsessions are as diverse, as different as the snowflakes that are (us) perverts. Some callers can’t reveal their pornographic penchants because their fantasies are illegal. Understandable. Sometimes a caller keeps his erotic fixation in the sexual requiem closet because he thinks his wife wouldn’t approve.
You know that anxiety you feel that your desires are “wrong” or should be kept a secret? You’re not alone.
No, I don’t think it’s “weird” or “bad” you are so turned on by thinking about seeing your wife be dominated and degraded by a filthy old man. And no, I don’t think that sexual fantasy somehow negates the genuine love and adoration you feel for your wife in real life! There is a difference between fantasy and reality. Where I exist — and our relationship begins — is in that virtual plane we’re going to create together. I don’t think of phone sex as an “escapist” mechanism or behavior, per se. Personally, I see phone sex hotlines as more of a (sometimes profoundly illuminating) platform to safely explore desires you can’t in your “real life.”
Wouldn’t it be nice if your perfect woman was just a phone call away? The one you knew would never judge you, but would give you the girlfriend experience you crave? No one is perfect. I’m not, either. But our phone sex relationship won’t be spoiled by petty bullshit like wet towels on the floor. Let’s explore your secret porn obsession instead, shall we?
But why call a phone sex hotline when you can just browse the internet for porn (and watch it) alone? Consider me your own personal search “algorithm,” but better. And sexier. I’m not artificial intelligence. And I have years of experience helping my beloved clients air their dirty laundry — in a way that feels hot to both of us, no longer something to feel shame or strange about.
Replacing shame and secrecy with a super hot orgasm and a good time all around is the best possible outcome I could hope for during our phone sex therapy call. What can I say, it makes my job feel extra meaningful. And I want to unravel the hidden meaning in your secret porn obsession with you.
