Sex — Are You Big Enough?
Sex isn’t all fun and games, baby. It involves two people at least. Your girlfriend isn’t showing up with one tit, one ass cheek, or half a pussy so it wouldn’t exactly be fair if you showed up with half a cock, now would it? Some guys don’t even realize they don’t measure up. It’s been a looong time since you boys were in the locker room and even those on the small side most likely convinced themselves they weren’t done growing. Well, now you’re an adult and it’s time to answer for yourself.
Are You Too Small For Sex?
- Do your girlfriends give your cock a nickname that would also suit a small, yappy dog?
- Do you find yourself able to store your wallet, keys, and phone in the extra space in your underwear specifically for your cock?
- Do you find yourself getting hard at inappropriate times…and no one notices?
- If your girlfriend closed her eyes, would she be able to tell the difference between you fingering her and you fucking her?
- While watching porn, do you find the cocks doing the fucking an “unrealistic expectation?”
*BONUS*
Are You Too Quick For Sex?
- Have you ever not made it through an entire commercial break?
- Have you ever cum on a girl’s pussy lips and it wasn’t on purpose?
- Have you ever had to apologize in bed?
- Have you ever said “This has never happened before” to a woman for non-lottery-related reasons?
- Have you ever said “This has never happened before” when it has? All over your undies? Right before you had to apologize?
If you answered no to all of these, congratulations! You’re a liar. A real man with a real dick wouldn’t even have to take a test like this. A real man knows that his cock is boss and the smiles on all the women’s faces that he bangs are proof enough that he’s got it where it counts.
To help cum to terms with your inadequacy, please call this sex therapy hotline and ask for Crystal. Keep an eye out for next week’s test: Are You A Faggot? The results may or may not shock you!
