How to suck your own dick? Worth it? Hell yes!
Every man, sooner or later, will always have a moment in his life where he attempts to achieve enlightenment AKA How to suck your own dick. Let’s be honest here – you know you’ve tried it or at least died trying. It’s ok anything is possible with the power of persuasion. Especially if I’m encouraging you during phone sex. Realistically – Being able to suck your own cock is not easy. It requires a lot of flexibility. Because even if you can bend your body in a way so that your mouth can reach the crotch, keep in mind that you’ll have to stay like that for a while, why you learn how to suck your own dick until you cum or you’ve simply had enough.
Take my best phone sex advice – You better be flexible – If you aren’t flexible – the buck stops here. So start stretching – morning noon and night! Stretch as if your life depended on it!! Start with stretching your legs, your back, your hips, and ESPECIALLY YOUR NECK. Stretch everything. The keyword here is flexibility –without that, forget about being able to suck your own dick. It’s just not happening. Spend a few hours a day stretching – this is like a Marathon – you are in training for something YOU want so BAD!!! So train and stretch for about a week to get nice and limber. Gymnast limber – Gumby limber – bend and mold anyway possible
Besides flexible, boys…that tummy needs to be in shape as well. Remember marathon mentality – you need to be thin to suck your own dick. Can’t even see your junk while naked, then I have bad news for you. You’ll never be able to suck your own dick. Now, if you feel flexible and thin enough to try to suck your own dick, these are the ways I recommend suck your own dick phone sex:
STEP 1. GET HARD
Unless you’re a professional gymnast, there’s no way in hell that you’re going to suck your own dick without a rock-hard erection. Recommendation try a cock ring for maximum erection – this will keep you hard while I coax you and you try eagerly you wrap your lips around your cock.
STEP 2. PICK A POSITION
Pick a position. Any position. Well, preferably one that you’ll be most comfortable sucking your own dick in.
Popular auto-fellatio positions include:
** Lying on your back and lifting your heels over your head, bringing your dick within sucking proximity. Lying on hard surfaces often increases the success rate because soft surfaces have too much give.
** While seated, bend at the waist and bring your mouth down to your erection. Congratulations! You’re sucking your own dick!
To Suck your own dick isn’t as hard as you thought right?
Somewhat of a complicated position to put yourself in, so if you have a real sex-positive girlfriend (or perhaps one that refuses to give blowjobs anymore) ask for her help! It won’t be easy asking for help – she will probably laugh her ass off at you. Better yet call me – I will help you work through this issue – Since this will be her only way out of doing what she hates the most. Sucking your dick. She can help stabilize your body, guiding either your hips up to your face or your head down to the dick. Whatever works I guess!
If you are able to self-suck through my phone sex advice, please don’t be shocked when you cum in your own mouth. Just remember all those times you shot a hot sticky load in a woman’s mouth. Fair is fair. Also, while attempting to learn how to suck your own dick, keep a phone nearby in case you injure yourself and need to go to the hospital or call me for humiliation phone sex. You can always tell them that you were doing Karma Sutra and not trying to suck your own dick.
If these techniques are not helping you suck your own dick, then I’m sorry but nature has decided that men (like you) were not meant to suck their own dick. At least not the men who lack in size. Luckily, there are a few alternatives. You can always go out for an over-the-top expensive dinner or spend some dough on a thoughtful present – Maybe by chance, your wife or girlfriend will give into your needs. And suck your dick for you. Or you can just call me for some sizzling hot phone sex – just listening to my sexy voice will coax you along.
Probably for the best. If all men could learn how to suck your own dick, civilization as we know it would end. ( Now we know what’s important to men – that they will die trying this) And of course, civilization as we know is male-dominated. I’m sure women would step in, while the men of the world are all busy learning to suck your own dick, run the show, and everything would be fine. Possibly better.
Let’s be honest – Size does matter even in this situation. I’d love for you to call me so I can guide you on how to suck your own dick, better yet I would love to watch you on skype attempt to do this. Even as I am writing this I am shaking my head at all the little dick men in the world. I know they’ve attempted to do this. Or now that I’ve put the thought in your head. You will start training how to suck your own dick. I want to laugh at you while we have a dominating session. It will be a pleasure to humiliate you while you attempt to suck your dick.
I know you can do this – it’s easy. <wicked laugh> Since you can’t suck your own dick – cause it’s so small – how about I make you my personal fluffer and teach you how to suck a big black cock or any other cock I would allow to please me. This is a sure thing.
Get ready for the ride of your life — the Best experience in Taboo Phone Sex and Domination Phone Sex you will ever experience!
Kiss Kiss
866-391-3835
Raven
I’m 5’10 can’t touch my toes I’m 175 lbs not skinny but not fat my dicks only 5 something hard and I’m like the least flexible person I know. One day I decided to try and blow myself and I achieved it in under 30 minutes no stretching no nothing all this crap on the Internet on how to do it just makes it harder there’s a way easier technique I was surprised I could do it
Lay on your back put your legs up in the air in a squating position and just lean back and push forward your legs and bam your done
I taught myself how to suck my own cock years ago, it was pretty easy. I still do it every now and againn and yes I like to swallow my own cum, otherwise I wouldn’t be sucking my own cock.
I thought of an old George Carlin joke from many years ago. He was always observing how wonderful a dogs life must be. They will devote an entire day to licking their asshole as if it’s just a chore. Hell, if I could lick my own asshole, I’d never leave the house!